"

I have been searching for words,
phrases,
to string together
& shout from the rooftops
to make you love me again.
But there aren’t words
from any language
that have that kind of power
(like the power you hold over me).

I preach about time healing a broken heart
& I think I had forgotten how much I loved you,
until I saw your face last night in my dreams.
The love and the pain made me want to run in five different directions,
all of which lead back to you

but instead I wrote this

(what more could I have to say when your name alone is a poem?)

"
Your Name is a Poem - Peyton Scott (via writershigh)
"do you not get it?
do you not realize how much damage you’ve caused?
do you not understand how much pain you’ve inflicted?
you have burned yourself into the skin of others, so deep that you left them scarred.
you have forced yourself into the cracks of broken people, convincing them that you’re filling the emptiness when really you were just draining them of life.
you are a disease, infecting any girl that gives you the time of day with false hope and fake love. you are a disease worse than the plague because even though you both kill slowly, the plague doesn’t text you they love you when they’re fucking another girl.
you are poison, you are a drug, you are a bad habit i can’t seem to break.
i thought you were my medicine, i thought you were my cure, i thought you were the one thing i did right but in all reality you were the toxin running through my veins.
they say it takes 21 days to break a bad habit but so far it’s been 42 and i swear i crave you as much as did two months ago.
two months ago.
two months.
two months.
too much. it’s all been too much.
i know our 5 months doesn’t compare to the 12 with her but our time together was something i cherished more than anything. you made me feel things i didn’t think i was capable of feeling. i felt love, real love.
but with love came pain. real pain.
pain that was worse than any drug.
worse than any punch.
worse than any form of self-destruction i put myself through in order to make it stop.
i know i promised you i’d never hurt myself again. but you promised me you’d never hurt me. i broke my promise after you broke yours, after you broke me.
i am broken."
a slam poem i wasn’t quite sure how to end, just like our relationship. (via anobodybutsomebody)
"I cant even think and I thought of you"
"This is a thank you letter, sort of like the letter you give your relatives on the holidays because your mom has been nagging you to for the past five days but instead of my mom nagging me its me nagging me. It’s the dreams I still have of you, the butterflies in my stomach when I see you. It’s the way my head hurts in the morning and my body aches all begging me to write this. To you. They want me to tell you, I miss you. My world isn’t the same without you. Please come back let’s try again. But instead I want to say thank you, thank you for the time we shared together. Thank you for sharing parts of yourself with me that not many else have yet seen. Thank you for the late nights up in your bedroom, the long talks and just, just for you. Normally it’s hard for me to care this much. Normally it’s hard for me to feel this strong this quickly. To by fricken roses in a grocery store and think that I’m logically going to bring them to your house and beg for you back. Normally it’s hard for me to want and have this desire but with you it’s hard not care this much. But despite all of that its time for me to move on with myself. It’s time for me to let go. But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t love every single moment we that shared together and regret none of it. Although it was short lived it was more than I could have ever anticipated. Thank you for that."
I found this wandering through YouTube and it hit me harder than expected. Thank you Chris for making this// 4am (via 4am-reflections)

fairypsychic:

dormouse11:

fairypsychic:

Ok so I rly fucking need to clean my house. Do any other People With Depression™ have any tips or ways you motivate urself to clean? Because this feels like the hardest goddamn thing in the world even tho I know it’s not and I’m just continually frustrated with myself and have been for the past two weeks.

HOO BOY DO I HAVE DEPRESSION/EXECUTIVE DYSFUNCTION CLEANING TIPS

in no particular order (because I have depression and executive dysfunction):

1. If something sensory about cleaning bothers you, eliminate that before you start. For example, I wear gloves to do the dishes. If the sound of the vacuum bothers you, wear headphones and turn up the music. etc.

2. If you can, make a list of everything that needs to be done. Then acknowledge that you probably can’t do it all, and circle all the things that absolutely, no matter what, have to be done. Pick one (ONE! ONLY ONE! START WITH ONE!) of those things and break it down into smaller steps. Then even smaller steps. Seriously, if step one is “stand up” and step two is “walk to closet” and step 3 is “get mop”, that’s fine. It can be that small.

3. Take a break. “But I literally only started five minutes ago!” Don’t care. If you want a break, take a break. “At this point I’ve spent more time on breaks than I’ve spent on cleaning.” Ok, but you’ve spent more than zero time on cleaning, so you’ve accomplished more than you had at the beginning. “If I take a break it won’t get done!” If you burn out it won’t get done either. Take a break.

4. If nothing is working, try what I call bin cleaning/box cleaning. Take a big trash bag and a box. Pick up the first object you see. Step 1: Is it trash? Put it in the trash bag. Step 2: Will you use it in the next 2 days? No? Put it in the box. It’s a problem for Future You. If you’ll use it in the next 2 days, take time to put it away. Rinse and repeat.

5. Did you get distracted and forget what you were doing? Don’t worry about it. Just clean a thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s the thing you were cleaning before. You have to clean lots of things, so just pick a thing and clean it. Eventually you’ll get around to the thing you forgot.

6. If you have to do a thing you really hate, do a thing you like afterwards. I hate doing dishes, but folding laundry soothes me, so that’s a nice one to do afterwards. YMMV. If there are no cleaning things you like that you can do afterwards, see number 3.

7. Make it fun. Play loud music and dance while you’re cleaning. Wear something that makes you feel cute, or if you prefer, something comfy. Light your favorite candle. Whatever.

8. If it’s nice out, open a window. Seriously, it helps.

This is seriously so helpful, thank you.

blog post #6: writing masterpost

postsfrommyworld:

Over time I’ve collected a ton of useful links for writing, and now, I’m gonna share the best ones on here.


Characters:

- Accents

- Writing actors

- Addictions/Bad habits

- Characters with amnesia

- Anxiety

- Apathy

- Autism 

- Badass characters

- Name ideas (2) (3) (4) (5) (6)

- Bipolar disorder

- Blindness

- Deaths (2)

- Careers (2)

- Character questionnaire

- Secrets

- Cocaine

- Comas

- Depression

- Skin colours

- Ditzy characters

- Eating Disorders

- Elders

- Eye colours

- Flaws

- Hinduism

- Kids

- Marijuana

- Multiple Personality Disorder 

- Narcissistic Personality Disorder

- Night terrors

- OCD (2)

- POC characters

- Pregnancy

- Psychopaths and sociopaths

- Rebels

- Asexuality

- Sarcastic characters

- Schizophrenia

- Shy characters

- Virgins

- Voices


Time periods

- Ancient Egypt

- Ancient Greece

- Ancient primary sources

- Fashion through history

- Medieval clothing

- Slang of the 1950s

- Victorian dialogue 


Dialogue/Character interaction

- Banter

- Body language

- Dialogue tips (2)

- Fight scenes

- Insults 


General tips

- Avoiding cliches 

- How to write child birth

- Colours (2

- Tips for co-writing

- Creating titles

- Describing clothes

- Editing tips

- Epilogues

- Food places

- Creative writing genres

- Guns

- Wounds (2)

- How to write historical fiction

- Prompts

- Quotes

- Characterisation

- Types of crying

- Writers block


Romance

- Date ideas

- Falling out of love 

- Friends with benefits

- Healthy relationships

- Kisses

- Lesbian smut

- Romance tips

- Sex scenes (2)


Supernatural/Horror

- Demonology

- Horror cliches

- Satanism

- Serial killers

- Supernatural powers and abilities

- Vampires

- Werewolves

- Witchcraft

- Zombies


Fantasy

- Fantasy references

- Fantasy inspiration

- Mythical creatures

- Talking animals


Music/sounds

- Harry Potter ASMR room (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11)

- Lord of the Rings ASMR room (2) (3) (4

- Game of Thrones ASMR room (2)

- Epic songs to write to

- Instrumental music

- Playlist for character deaths

- Rain sounds


i hope this helps somebody lmao

A Bigger and Better Anxiety/Stress Masterlist

SCHOOL CHEAT SHEET 2

jwstudying:

other cheat sheets

THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. It may save a life, It may save your life.)

the-joy-of-reading:

brittanymichael:

echolessvoid:

An Article from Neena Susan Thomas

“Through a rapist’s eyes. A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interview…ed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:

1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.

3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.

4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.

5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.

6] Number three is public restrooms.

7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.

8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.

10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.

POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:

1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.

2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh – HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.

5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.

6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.

7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.

2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:

a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .

b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.

c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.

If u have compassion reblog this post.
‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.

REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
AT LEAST PEOPLE WILL KNOW WHATS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD.
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.

THIS COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.”

EVERYONE BOOT THE FUCK OUT OF THIS

GET THIS SHIT OUT THERE 

REBLOG PLEASE

curi0sita:
“ somebody said it
”

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

  • The original post only has US helplines. I've added UK helplines underneath. It would be great if people could add numbers from everywhere in the world.
  • Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
  • Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
  • LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
  • Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
  • Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
  • Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
  • Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
  • Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
  • Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
  • Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
  • Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
  • UK Helplines:
  • Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org
  • Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
  • Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
  • Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk
  • b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
  • b-eat youthline (for under 25's with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
  • Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
  • Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
  • Drinkline: 0800 9178282
  • Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
  • Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
  • India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
  • India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
  • Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7
  • Good2Talk (Canada): 1-866-925-5454, For post-secondary students, free and anonmyous
  • suicide hotlines;
  • Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
  • Australia: 13-11-14
  • Austria: 01-713-3374
  • Barbados: 429-9999
  • Belgium: 106
  • Botswana: 391-1270
  • Brazil: 21-233-9191
  • China: 852-2382-0000
  • (Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
  • Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
  • Croatia: 01-4833-888
  • Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
  • Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
  • Denmark: 70-201-201
  • Egypt: 762-1602
  • Estonia: 6-558-088
  • Finland: 040-5032199
  • France: 01-45-39-4000
  • Germany: 0800-181-0721
  • Greece: 1018
  • Guatemala: 502-234-1239
  • Holland: 0900-0767
  • Honduras: 504-237-3623
  • Hungary: 06-80-820-111
  • Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
  • Israel: 09-8892333
  • Italy: 06-705-4444
  • Japan: 3-5286-9090
  • Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
  • Malaysia: 03-756-8144
  • (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
  • Malta: 179
  • Mexico: 525-510-2550
  • Netherlands: 0900-0767
  • New Zealand: 4-473-9739
  • New Guinea: 675-326-0011
  • Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
  • Norway: 47-815-33-300
  • Philippines: 02-896-9191
  • Poland: 52-70-000
  • Portugal: 239-72-10-10
  • Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
  • Spain: 91-459-00-50
  • South Africa: 0861-322-322
  • South Korea: 2-715-8600
  • Sweden: 031-711-2400
  • Switzerland: 143
  • Taiwan: 0800-788-995
  • Thailand: 02-249-9977
  • Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
  • Ukraine: 0487-327715
  • "Dammit it was torture having him so close and not being able to touch him."
    excerpt from a book I’ll never write (via jordannbessent)
    "I think he was afraid, y’know? I think he was afraid of falling in love and that’s why he left. I think he knew that he was too young, too dumb for that girl. She had dreams, she had plans. And here he was acting like he was on his grind, but in reality didn’t know where he was going. I think when he kissed her and looked into her eyes he was afraid of what he saw. He saw this girl who was willing to give him the world and that scared him.
    He was never really one to dig deep. Never one to talk about feelings. So when it came down to it he felt it easier to just let her go, even if it meant hurting her, hurting him. Because he thought it would be for the best. He knew he wasn’t good enough for her and she knew it, too. But for some reason she still chose him. And that was too much for him. Here was this girl, who was different- different from everybody else. This girl who was talented and open minded, adventurous and open hearted. And she wanted him.
    He was always a troubled kid. He lived a life he wasn’t proud of and tried hard to change it only to find himself right back where he started. And that was because he let her go. He didn’t know any better. He didn’t know that this girl wasn’t as fragile as she seemed. She was hard headed. Hard headed enough to stick by his side through anything. And he wasn’t used to that, and neither was she, but she was willing to give it a shot. Maybe she wouldn’t understand, but she would have listened, she would have tried. But he didn’t know that.
    …Or maybe he did. But it terrified him. The idea of something serious. Not because he had commitment issues, but because he knew it was going to hurt like hell when time forced them to let go. So he did it first.
    I think he really loved her. I think that scared him. I think he was just too young, too dumb, too full of pride, and she was too ahead of his time. I think he knew she would change him. Not in a bad way, but in the way he wanted to be changed. She was the push towards making him a better person and he liked who he was when he was with her.
    So when he buried his head in her chest for the last time, I think he knew. I think that’s why he held her hand a little tighter and smiled a little bigger.  I think that’s why he didn’t kiss her. Because he knew it would hurt. I think that’s why he let her take pictures when he was never up for them in the first place and why he didn’t turn around when he said goodbye. Because he knew if he looked back, if he looked into those sad, brown eyes that he would fall, and he wouldn’t be able to get back up.
    They say if you really love something, let it go. I never understood that. I think that if you really love someone you hold onto them. You hold onto every last little piece of them and you fight. You fight your morals of what’s wrong and right and you be selfish for once in your life. I still don’t get it.
    I think that’s why it hurt a little more than it should have. And I think that’s why I hate you a little more every time I see you. Not because of what you did, but because of what you didn’t do. You didn’t fight. You didn’t take the jump. And see the thing is, I did. I took that fall that you were so afraid to take and I didn’t even realize it. So excuse me if I choose to not look at you when I pass you by. Because I know that if I look into those sad, green eyes that it’ll hurt just as much to fall the second time."
    Velicious09.tumblr (via velicious09)